Time to prove the coasts don't have a monopoly on queerness anymore.
Coworker Responsible: Blah di Blah restaurant is giving us free food today, message me back if you're gonna show up so I can give them a head count.
Coworker Extracurriculars: I'll be up in all that free food, like thugs are up in the hood.
Coworker Moustache: Girl got them munchies again!
Me: Free food? Hell yeah I'll show up.
Coworker Wonderful: But. I thought we were all starting our diets today.
Coworker Responsible: Seriously guys, I just need a head count, stop dicking around.
Coworker who is maybe not a coworker: Who the fuck are you people?!
Customer (to barista): Uhm, excuse me? We didn't order this. It has coffee in it.
Barista: Well what did you order?
Customer: White mochas.
Barista: That has coffee in it.
Customer: Oh! Well . . .
Barista: This is Starbucks.